Being a touchy feely kinda guy, I've lived most my life by how I 'feel' about things. Since turning my life over to Christ, however, I've come to realize that how I (we) 'feel' isn't necessarily that important in regards to living by faith. Ok, ouch. Touchy feely guy ain't crazy about that. But it's the truth. You can take it from me, the touchy feely guy, that living solely by how one feels can offer many days of disappointment, to say the least. It can, and typically does lead to dependencies on just about anything and everything BUT God.
For some, this may be dependency on drugs, alcohol, money, material possessions, destructive relationships and a host of other debilitating distractions. Honestly speaking, over the years, I've experienced most if not all the above along with the disappointments they each provide. In this revelation alone, I'm quickly reminded of how truly gracious, patient and loving our God is with us (me). I am a blessed man despite my unworthiness to claim as such. Thank God... literally.
During the past three months, my family and I have lived through the death of a relative who took their own life; a friend who was involved in a serious, paralyzing accident; a life-threatening kidney infection (wife) - resulting in two surgeries - one of which was an emergency surgery where we were both told to 'prepare for the worst'. We learned of a very close friend's diagnosis of cancer; prayed for a mother's week-long stay in a hospital to repair breathing problems; a grand parent twice hospitalized with congestive heart failure... all while selling our home (and all the roller-coaster turns involved) along with finding a rental home, literally, one day before having to move out of the home we were blessed to sell. This, of course, does not include the everyday stresses of work nor the many friends I have also been praying for who have been (and are) living with their own share(s) of troubles as I write this.
Through it all, I have prayed much. I chose to turn to God in prayer vs. turn to my feelings and/or 'self-coping' distractions. Praying, almost non-stop. The Holy Bible tells us to pray without ceasing - isn't it funny how, when things aren't going that smoothly - that praying (for me anyway) is easier to do, unceasingly? I observe two things in telling you this; One: That I have grown to a point where I realize my 'feelings' aren't going to get me or anyone else through very much in life - but - indeed, prayer and faith will. And two: Many times, God will allow us to experience some pretty overwhelming circumstances so we (His followers) will basically have no other choice - but - to turn to Him. I think God meant it when He told us to rely totally on Him; yeh, I'm pretty sure of this. This isn't an attempt to boast about that; it's more a realization of Christian-based reality that I have come to appreciate more clearly in the past few months.
I can share this with you too; my only source(s) of comfort have come from prayer to God through our Savior Jesus Christ and the prayer of others for my family and me. Many of those who have been (and are) praying for us are going through some pretty major things themselves. [My prayers remain with you too.] One could say that the power of prayer has made another proverbial notch in my spiritual belt while 'how I feel about things' has started to take a back seat to my faith. Spiritual growth? I'd say so.
God tells us that He has a perfect plan for each of us. (Shouldn't that alone offer us security and peace? - If so, why do I [perhaps you too] struggle with 'feelings' anyway? I mean the feeling that we must know the answer(s) now, we must have control, etc...) In any case, in just the past few months, I can tell you my total reliance on God and the privilege of prayer have become necessities of my everyday life. Knowing how I used to turn to 'other things' with an occasional prayer thrown in, I cannot fathom ever again wanting to base my future - let alone my everyday circumstances - on how I 'feel' about things. Why? Because I have truly experienced the true power of prayer and the reality of my God like never before. It seems ridiculous, once one finally 'gets this' realization - this true appreciation of the power of our Living God and the power of praying to Him and Him alone for our needs - how we could ever again even want to control things ourselves; let alone let our feelings direct our paths.
BTW: My wife has a healthy prognosis of recovery; my paralyzed friend has started rehabilitation and is learning to walk again; my friend with cancer has a tough road of recovery ahead of him, but a healthy prognosis nonetheless that he will recover; the surviving family of the one who took his life has a self-proclaimed stronger faith which shows in a peace that totally surpasses anyone's understanding; we have sold our home in a volatile housing market and I'm sitting in a cozy warm rental on a cold night with pre-approval to buy a home when we find the one my family and I like. I assure you the 'feelings' I've felt while experiencing all this have not led me to share any of this with you.
Not exactly liking how things are making you 'feel' these days? My suggestion is to take advantage of the incredible privilege to get on your knees and have a heart-to-heart with our Father, our Lord, our God. I mean, He wants you to literally cast all your cares, worries and needs upon Him! Ask and you shall receive. Touchy feely me can totally vouch for that! Our God is an awesome God - He loves you - He's CRAZY NUTS about you, and He means it. Have a chat with Him, right now! He'll be very happy to hear from you. And that, should make you 'feel' pretty good - at the very least.
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